My Sister's Keeper--PLEASE comment if you've read this one!

I've been avoiding this book for over a year now, but when it landed in my lap as part of a book club I'm in, I decided to give it a shot.  (the second book club I'm in to read it.  Maybe that's why I gave in and read the stupid thing!)  I was surprised at how much I actually enjoyed reading it, given my serious doubts and what I had heard about it.  I did have some serious problems, though, which is why I'm begging for comments if you've read it!  I'd love to hear what you think!

I liked how Jodi Picoult had each character speak from their own point of view (3rd person omniscient is always my favorite--I like knowing what everyone is thinking).  I liked that Sara's story started earlier than the others.  I liked the depth of Brian's views on his job, the peace he finds in the stars.  I will admit to not getting all of his metaphors, but oh well.  I appreciate his "rescuing" Anna--when he says that in a fire, "the safety of the rescuer is a higher priority than the safety of the victim.  Always."  I was glad someone stood up for her, finally.  I think it allowed Anna to feel important enough for someone to take action, and it allowed Brian to quietly but effectively show Sara that the situation was not to be swept under the rug.  I like that it made me think--is there a justification for "designer babies?"  What would I sacrifice to save one of my children?  Hard, tough questions with a tough life scenario.

Sara was my biggest beef.  I really had a hard time with her!  There's now way I can understand or even pretend to, what she was going through trying to save Kate.  However, she talks about being a mom almost every page of her chapters.  She says how she would never trade that occupation for her previous one, how this is so much more fulfilling and difficult and gives her the depth and happiness she could never find elsewhere.  SO, why does she stop mothering Jesse and Anna?  Why do their needs fall completely off the spectrum?  Yes, I get that her entire consciousness was focused on saving Kate, but when Jesse talks about the failed promises of his parents--really, would it be that hard to take him rollerblading?  Even for an hour?  I just don't get it.  If mothering is that important to you, why would you dismiss your other children like that?  Anna's hockey camp, ANYTHING Jesse was interested in, anything either of them wanted, for that matter!  Is it really that impossible to take a break from Kate, let her be stable for a little bit (you can't say she wasn't ever stable for a little bit)--long enough to show her other children that they were still as important to her.  No wonder Jesse started acting out, and doing everything he could to get attention.  No wonder Anna had serious questions about whether her parents really wanted her for her or for Kate.  If I was in that situation, knowing that my daughter is dying, I get that I would want to be with her every waking moment.  What if it was her last?  She has already beat the expiration date given her by many years, so every second would be priceless.  However, what's the price you pay with the other children?  Do you risk not being at her bedside if she needs you by being with one of them?  By making them feel as loved as they know you love her?  That's tricky, I get it, but I think it's a juggling act you HAVE to make.  You HAVE to try!  You're the MOM!

All I wanted to do the entire book was to just take Jesse in my arms and tell him he was still loved.  I cried when Brian finally did that.  Interesting that Picoult prefaced him doing that by saying that he didn't do any of the things Jesse would have expected, but instead did the one thing he knew would break Jesse apart.  He hugged him.  When was the last time that happened?  Over and over both Brian and Sara say that it seemed like they blinked and their children were grown.  They blinked and all of a sudden Kate's dying and their lives are changed.  How could they not know Anna played hockey?  How could they not see that Jesse needed them?  ARG.  It really made me very frustrated.  Even trying to give them the benefit of the doubt didn't work for me.  I don't know what I would do in that situation.  I try hard in my life (and granted, it is a child-with-cancer free lifestyle) to make sure that I hug and smile at and talk to each of my children every day.  I try to snuggle with them and let them know how special they are to me.  Some days this is even hard for me to do, but it doesn't mean I stop trying!  I feel like Sara just shut down.  She and Brian also both comment on how much they have changed individually, like Kate's illness put them both in survival mode.

Maybe that's it.  Maybe they simply just couldn't handle anything else.  Maybe that's where you ask for help and hope your other children get love from their aunt, or neighbor, or whoever else is helping you survive the daily rigors of everything-not-associated-with-your-sick-child.  I don't know, and I definitely don't presume to have all the answers.  I did cry at the ending.  A lot.  An embarrassingly large amount, in fact.  I do think it wrapped up a little too nicely though.  I'm glad Julia finally beat through Campbell's crap, even though that seemed too convenient.  And I have hesitations about seeing the movie, even though that ending is supposedly different.  I think Picoult ended the book in a way to make all of us feel better, weirdly, but better.  Poetic justice?  There is one line that bugged me, said by Kate, about how one of the sisters had to die and one of them made the choice to go first.  To save the other.  Annoying.  Of course she did.  She'd spent her entire life making that choice.  Also, while we're talking about things that annoy:  Where in the world is there a BMW without a front passenger air bag?  Seriously?  That was crapola.

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